...

A rainy day.
Was shopping with fav at Far East when she suddenly told me that my sis fainted in school.

Took a cab to NUH to join parents at the Emergency waiting area.
For almost 3 hrs, Sis' colleagues popped in and out, mom and fav picking up calls, making calls...
Dad stayed in the same chair almost throughout the 3 hrs.
One thing that kept moving was his mouth. And i don't mean it in a rude way. He kept talking about her health- how my sis dun eat enough, how thin she was, how she stayed up too late, how this and that, how A and B troubled her health...
And I know its all because he was worried sick about her...
For the first 30 minutes, i was just sitting between my parents, hearing my dad go on and on, letting fav ask mom all relevant questions. And all i could do- let tears drop.
A useless 25-year old female, not being able to keep her composure and comfort her parents. Instead, had to cause more worry and distraught.
It was worry. And was also sensing how worried my parents were, that they had to deal with the 'ordeal' each in his/her own way.
Dad also made a comment about how mom couldn't take it when he said sis don't eat enough. That's coz moms would usually blame themselves when own children don't eat well. Though its not true that she dun feed us. Just look at ME.
And i swear i didn't steal my sis' portion food.

Just 2 days ago, already had the shock of my life when i woke up in the morning only to have my mom tell me that sis couldn't move the night before and had to sleep in their room.
She couldn't even make it back to her own room, couldn't sit up, couldn't make her way to the toilet coz she hurt her back.
Mom was saying how Dad didn't slee that night though she told him to sleep in sis' room. Dad stayed vigil in the living room, keeping awake in case my sis needs to go toilet.

Fav was commenting on how our family has been fraught with hospital trips this year. Mom to AH, I've been to TTSH and now Sis to NUH. It was unspoken, but I know in our minds, "Who's next..." hovered... and yep.
She also said how her dad, my godpa keeps himself healthy so as to witness the birth of his grandchildren...

All the pain about life and death.
Actually I am scared to death.
I know that I've led a sheltered life and to be honest, the only death i've experienced who's close to me (touch wood x 100000000000000) was my grandpa. That was more than 10 years ago..
I am really not sure whether I can survive if someone close to me leaves me...

I'm still not sure what all this life thing is about...

Guess meanwhile all i can do... is to treat pple around me well. Especially family.. ya?

But to friends whom i have no chance to be nice to anymore. Or whom you have no interest in me taking an interest in you anymore- here's to you: hello, keep well.