Saturday, July 23, 2005

Fleeting Trust

Light as a feather. Floating, flickering.
Thin as a thread. Fragile, so fine.

I have no trust.
No trust in myself. No trust in others. No trust.
I couldn't trust me to do things well.
I couldn't trust me to try someting new.
I couldn't trust me as a friend.
I couldn't trust me as someone worth it.
I couldn't trust I'm not an idiot.
I couldn't trust I'm not disgustingly flabby.
I couldn't trust I'm not an irritating being
I couldn't trust I'm not a piece of crap.
I look at myself,I snigger.
I listen to myself, I laugh.
I think of myself, I cringe.

It had been so hard. To convince myself that no matter how flawed I am, I deserve to be loved.

Yet it is so easy, to shatter that glass of trust over trivial matters.


Why.
Why is my trust so brittle.

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