reputation and preconception

Because of her reputation, finger is pointed at her without a second thought.

Just because there were no tears, no frowns... it was not until in retrospect, that I realise how much it must have hurt.

Just because of the bigger scheme of things, no one would care to prioritize the indignance of the misunderstood individual.

... sorry for asking that you wait, and take a back seat.

Religion- something that should bring peace and comfort. But why did it bring about strife and tears in relationships.

Look beyond reputation pls...
Preconception and assumptions.
Such enemies

Watched this documentary on Gothic cathedrals in France on SCV. Buildings made of stones in the past had tiny doorways, so as to support the weight of the entire building. Gothic architecture, however, revolutionized that.
Gothic architecture has three distinct characteristics which set it apart from Romanesque:
1. pointed arches
2. flying buttresses
3. ribbed vault
These developments allowed the architects to make the church much larger, higher and brighter. By transferring the weight of the ceilings outward thrust to the flying buttresses, they were now able to place huge stain glass windows in the walls which allowed the once dim Romanesque Cathedral to be transformed into a a bright Gothic Cathedral.
Sorry for the extra information... but i am really awestruck by how comprehensive the documentary was... so much so that even someone who has zilch knowledege about architecture could be so fascinated...

Our ancestors are amazing.. they have no sophisticated tools, but are able to construct such grand and beautiful buildings.
Our counterparts are equally amazing... inventing high-tech systems to deduce what our ancestors did and solve mysteries of the past...
Guess, the bottomline is, there are so so SO many things to learn about in this world... and that i'll never look at the cathedrals the same way again.
If only I can get to see them with my own eyes. Soon, I hope.

In retrospect.

Somehow, there's more opportunities to be contemplative during jogging... which is getting shorter- 20 mins, and i'm gone.
Thought about the placement starting Tuesday, which led to thoughts of what kind of learner i am...

In Retrospect- to look back in thought; refer back and reflect...
That's supposedly me, according to me.

To my horror, it struck me that it might not just be a personality thing, something i can simply brush off and declare that i shall remain 'retrospective' simply because "that's the way i am"...

It seems like underneath the ice-berg, there's more...

Does 'in retrospect' imply "more time to think of excuses later on"?

oh well.. too long to elaborate.

AND...!

And i watched 2 movies too! (at home that is)

An Education and Cashback (been wanting to watch that forever)

I think I'm the best bummer ever.

books and musings

Just read 2 books over the week-
1. The Sugar Queen by Sarah Addison Allen
2. Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress by Dai Sijie

Enjoyable reads, expecially when it meant i didn't have to do my essay.
Looking forward to Norwegian Woods. (Never knew that it was a song)

Sometimes I get a little anxious knowing that there are millions of books I've never read and those zillions of songs and music i would never get to listen to. Not forgetting the vast lands and seas I'd never set foot on.

How much can we do in one lifetime...?

Fire.

6am in the morning.
Awakened by frantic calls of "help help! XXXXXX!"
Initially thought that there was a fight going on. Sat up and looked outside the window, to slightly burnt smell. Saw an uncle at the opposite block looking out. Nothing else out of the ordinary...Alarm bells rang in my head.. only slightly.
Just about to venture back to sleep when i heard the house phone ring.
THen, i knew for sure that something was up.
It was my uncle, calling my mom to tell her that our block is on fire.
Everyone hopped out of bed, but not to escape- more of to get up so that we could go downstairs to see what was going on.
Dad even went to brush his teeth, and mom changed her shorts. I called out to them to wait for me so that we could go downstairs together while i sauntered to the loo.
Suddenly, frantic calls from dad asking me to hurry... "come out now NOW NOW"
I dashed out of the loo ( i did wash my hands) and to the front door. Pandemonium- a policeman was urging us to leave our flats immediately plus neighbours streaming out of the door.
Fresh-breath dad (sigh, foul-mouth me) had already quickly grabbed a torchlight, car keys and keys to the house. All of us made our way downstairs, knocking on every door, calling the other neighbours to flee.

WHen we reached the carpark, we saw flames flickering at the 11th storey in the middle block. Someone was standing at the window, waving a cream towel and shouting for help. Firemen, policemen and the ambulance had arrived at the scene. Rescue had take place. Fortuntely, the firemen put out the fire fairly quickly and everyone was safe and sound.

Am grateful that no one was hurt in the fire, but certainly many lessons to be learnt...
It was ironic that it would take a crisis before we (or at least I) get to see faces i have never seen before despite living in the same block. Most of us were decked in grubby t-shirts and shorts, with hair touseled, just roused from sleep. Some more prepared neighbours, however, had handphones and cameras ready to snap any action.
RUmors were rife, and everyone was speculating the cause, which units were involved, who stayed in those units etc... information was shared freely among the neighbours and everyone was like friends... for that one hour plus at the carpark.
It was almost like a mini-kampong, right at the carpark...
The famous Chinese saying ("far water"' and "near fire") had never been more appropriate... If not for people at the opposite block/bus-stop who saw the smoke and called the fire department, we might all be burnt to death in our sleep.

ANyway.. also had no electricity for about 8 hours, plus sooty weird-tasting water from the taps.
Made me realised how spoilt and dependent we are on electricity and technology.
Very ashamed. But that didn't stop me from being really happy to have the lights, fans and internet back on.
Kudos to the firemen for their efficiency and to the foreign workers who worked tirelessly to restore electricity before night falls. Thank you!

Oh well... i think this mini disaster made us bond for a little while. I think i would be more friendly towards the neighbours in the future... afterall, our fates are tightly woven together... to put it crudely.. "if you can't escape, neither can i"
But BUT BUT! To end off on a positive note: we will definitely help one another in times of crisis. Yes. definitely. And after this incident, i think we'll all be more equipped and prepared...

history

i love history.

the unexplainable swell of excitement and exhilaration sometimes, when reading about some event that happened eons ago...

Just met up with some old friends from the sec school choir, doing what we used to do alot- just hang out..and hum... and rot...and laugh over bits and pieces of memories...

Each of us seem to hold different memories of the past. And when together, we piece together an enormous quilt of entirety... a complete story of our shared past...

Realised that no matter how much each of us has changed over the decade (golly..)
one thing will never change- our shared history.
Treasured.

Contentment can really be very simple.

Madness.

Mad mad rush to complete data collection.
Classic example of how procrastination is NOT the way to go.
Though findings are interesting... having to speak non-stop for 5 hours, and in Mandarin is more draining than I thought.

Doesn't help that school is starting next week...
I need to NOT talk.

HORRORS

A streetcreed named denial

Somewhere, the popular belief says
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Somewhere, the psychologists claim:
Talk about your pain, face the music, vent it all.

And psychologists, are not to be defied, denied, or denounced.

However, somewhere, a group of dissidents proposed that denial is the way to go.

And so a heated argument began, on that fateful day in that quaint little pub on the hill.


"Denial!?" Sharp astonished gasps emerged and murmurings soon filled the room.

A group of psychologists sniggered and turned their elegant educated noses up at this blasphemous suggestion.

The omniscient (self-proclaimed, if i may add) psychologist step in and declared, in his all-knowing crisp voice:
"Denial is an unconscious defense mechanism characterized by refusal to acknowledge painful realities, thoughts, or feelings. Hence, it is not healthy for an individual to embrace it"
(Fortunately for him, there was wi-fi and he managed to gain access in time, to dicionary.com via his lovely diamond-crusted iphone)

Denialists, afraid to offend the psychologists, bowed their heads together and began to discuss fervently. One suddenly called out: "Why poke at a gaping wound? Why would one want to worsen the pain?"
The impressed denialists cheered and everyone enthusiastically patted the brave speaker on his back.

"But you're not learning to cope with it! Its cowardice! You're running away from the problem. You MUST follow our way" The psychologists screamed in indignance.

The second brave denialist who was miffed by his pompous counterparts, retorted zealously,
"Are you sure that facing one's worst fears is the best? By grabbing the bulls by the horns... are you sure we won't be gored to death by the furious bull and be reduced to a bloody mess?" (The first brave speaker,as you would have guessed, was still nursing his back, which received myriad passionate pats)


"That's how we all learn to grow. It is not easy, but its the best way to go!" A saccharine voice rang out encouragingly. This psychologist blinked her bambi-eyes earnestly, eager to win over the hearts and minds of the defiant denialists.

"I have heard enough!"(and frankly, so have I) declared the third brave denialist. (the second brave speaker, you might not be able to guess, was still trembling, trying to recover from his impassioned outburst)
"We have decided that DENIAL is for us, and we shall hear no more from you psychologists!. Comrades, let us leave this place right away!"
The denialists cheered again and staggered out of the quaint little pub in high spirits (and yes, you can be sure that they did consume significant amounts of spirits), proud to have defended the new street creed.

"You're doomed, you ignorant fools" spat the psychologist, clutching his beloved diamond-crusted iphone in one hand and shaking his fist, with the other hand, naturally. (it was unthinkable to subject the precious phone to unforgiving shaking!)
"World peace!" cried out the psychologist with bambi-eyes, which were already brimming with tears of sympathy.

Disclaimer:
No psychologists were harmed in the making of this story
This is just a large distorted figment of the writer's overactive imagination - where a thought about denial metamorphosed into one odd ridiculous story.
*shrug*

why, where, how shall she begin

Why?
After bidding goodbye,
will she return
Back to this page
where she scrawl, her scattered snippets.

Where, then?
After such long absence
shall she begin
Right on this page
of drying anticipation -
how she abscounded, her readers abandoned.

How, now?
After rusty synapses, choked with debris from unspoken thoughts
can she continue ...
After this page,

And once again, prose deludes.
May the myriad isolated flashes of murmurings
edge their way in
Find yourselves a spot, fellows. She knows not how.

Of why, of where, of how would she begin-
Escape-is-it!
Hence the music start the tone
the melodies, along with words unfold,
the murmurings the heart unfurled,
the meanderings down a face wrinkled.

Hope you like the songs.
Said she.

Oren Lavie - The Man Who Isn't There (lyrics)

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