Old WOman & the Sea

I love water.
I should be a water baby. But bloddy hell, i get motion sickness. SERIOUS motion sickness.
Pathetic man... anywayz...

Mentioned cos was sitting somewhere at Boat Quay just now ... its so therapeutic. To just listen to the splashing of water against the stones, to hear the swishing, splurshing, swirling water...

Still remembered clearly that when we were still students, a few of us also sat along the Singapore River after watching a performance at VCH... we were just sitting there, singing & singing, totally unbashful and un-self-conscious... without a care in the world ... only concern was- catch the last train home... Poor students couldn't afford cab.
I remembered that the moment was so precious to me that I risked writing in the essay for my English O'levels prelims... i think the topic was "The most memorable ____" Although i sucked at writing nice, sappy stuff... i still did it... anyway, only wished i could have a copy of what i wrote then...

This song popped into my head...

THOSE WERE THE DAYS

Once upon a time there was a tavern...
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours...
And dreamed of all the great things we would do?

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Then the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If by chance I'd see you in the tavern
We'd smile at one another and we'd say....

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose....
For we were young and sure to have our way.

Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me?

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end...
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.

Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
Through the door there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh my friend were older but no wiser
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same....

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days..

Feelings of nostalgia I guess... at that time we probably really believed that nothing will ever change, no one would ever change, that we were all so close that nothing could break our friendships. Little did we know that so much will change over the years... I'd say I have expected changes to take place... but ours- so drastic, don't you think? I thought we'd be spending many Christmases together... thought we'd always be playing mahjong b4 carolling sessions... that we'd always be finding places to just stone... that we'll find more staircases to sing at...
Time, distance, misunderstandings, conflicts, drifts, undercurrents... all kinds... What happened to our houses with green, purple, blue levels?
What happened to our restaurant... our competitions, our dreamy stony moments?
Were we not accepting enough? Did we not try hard enough? Did we grow to be too self-centred? Were we looking for such different things in life?
We were very close and had loads of fun together didn't we?
So where's everyone now...

Remembered a JC classmate's answer when someone asked her why doesn't she join us for class gatherings... "I just don't see the point of meeting up... have nothing much to talk to them anymore..."

Perhaps this has happened to us... And I've thought our friendships are like cycling or swimming -once you've acquired the skills, it doesn't matter how long u cease to cycle or swim. You'll always know how... Or you'll be able to pick it up again in a minute... Guess i was too naive.

Poignant for a while...
Old woman knows that this is life, this is reality and will feel some loss and sadness but shall not grieve.
At least we had those moments, we were truly happy together before.
We didn't live our lives standing still, that's enough ya?
Meanwhile, can only sincerely wish that those who had such zero desire to look back or could not even bear to touch the past are happy with their lives right now.
Best wishes. From the bottom of my stony heart, or whatever you choose to think my heart is like... haha
Bottoms up, old friends!