...

A rainy day.
Was shopping with fav at Far East when she suddenly told me that my sis fainted in school.

Took a cab to NUH to join parents at the Emergency waiting area.
For almost 3 hrs, Sis' colleagues popped in and out, mom and fav picking up calls, making calls...
Dad stayed in the same chair almost throughout the 3 hrs.
One thing that kept moving was his mouth. And i don't mean it in a rude way. He kept talking about her health- how my sis dun eat enough, how thin she was, how she stayed up too late, how this and that, how A and B troubled her health...
And I know its all because he was worried sick about her...
For the first 30 minutes, i was just sitting between my parents, hearing my dad go on and on, letting fav ask mom all relevant questions. And all i could do- let tears drop.
A useless 25-year old female, not being able to keep her composure and comfort her parents. Instead, had to cause more worry and distraught.
It was worry. And was also sensing how worried my parents were, that they had to deal with the 'ordeal' each in his/her own way.
Dad also made a comment about how mom couldn't take it when he said sis don't eat enough. That's coz moms would usually blame themselves when own children don't eat well. Though its not true that she dun feed us. Just look at ME.
And i swear i didn't steal my sis' portion food.

Just 2 days ago, already had the shock of my life when i woke up in the morning only to have my mom tell me that sis couldn't move the night before and had to sleep in their room.
She couldn't even make it back to her own room, couldn't sit up, couldn't make her way to the toilet coz she hurt her back.
Mom was saying how Dad didn't slee that night though she told him to sleep in sis' room. Dad stayed vigil in the living room, keeping awake in case my sis needs to go toilet.

Fav was commenting on how our family has been fraught with hospital trips this year. Mom to AH, I've been to TTSH and now Sis to NUH. It was unspoken, but I know in our minds, "Who's next..." hovered... and yep.
She also said how her dad, my godpa keeps himself healthy so as to witness the birth of his grandchildren...

All the pain about life and death.
Actually I am scared to death.
I know that I've led a sheltered life and to be honest, the only death i've experienced who's close to me (touch wood x 100000000000000) was my grandpa. That was more than 10 years ago..
I am really not sure whether I can survive if someone close to me leaves me...

I'm still not sure what all this life thing is about...

Guess meanwhile all i can do... is to treat pple around me well. Especially family.. ya?

But to friends whom i have no chance to be nice to anymore. Or whom you have no interest in me taking an interest in you anymore- here's to you: hello, keep well.

Creating Aura

Long time since i'm here...
So this shall be a happy post! haha

Talked to my meiren the other day and she was encouraging me (us) to be more positive coz each of us has an aura. We CAN make things happen. If we are always having depressing and pessimistic thoughts, those lousy things may just happen to us.
Somewhere along this line...?
So in order to re-create a better aura. I am gonna think POSITIVE. Yippeee!
Btw zhuz, if you haven't given up visiting this site, can you tell me again the stuff about thoughts leading to behaviour, leading to blah blah blah? Remind me if i forget... and some visuals will be helpful, thank you =P

Anyway, has got time to babble here... coz its already sch holidays! (though not exactly so coz we still gotta go back to sch from mon-wed =/) And Monday will be D-day, coz we'll know our new class. And bloody hell, i've gotta take minutes =( Extremely unpleasant. I can't even afford to feel sad/shocked/happy coz i will be too busy writing/typing stuff.
Auditorily-impaired individuals like myself should be exempted from traumatic experiences- such as writing minutes.

Well, had some fun today at mindcafe with some yck folks. We played the Game of Life ( the one they kept playing in OVErTiME) - its kinda like Monopoly... Also played this Charade thingy which was more action-packed and spontaneous. Our team won! haha! Btw, the brownies there tasted great!
2 Ps also went wandering after guitar class last time. Bought Christmas albums at That CD Shop. A great place to shop for CDs, coz they will let you listen to any CD. Very willingly & generously.
ALmost watched a midnight movie but there were juz no good shows at GV. Give me Cathay and quirky films any day.
I think i still enjoy being a P. I want to do things at whim. No notice, no planning, no end in mind. Perhaps the reason i thought ii've became more J is due to men, who are mostly Js.
Except maybe JM. Yes You. If you even read.
Still have the image of you slumping on the huge metal table in my room, not the least bit angry (at least i think you weren't angry =P) that i have juz wakened up from a nap and has decided that i am not gonna have math tuition that day. haha.

Oh well.. thoughts all over the place.

Its late. Nite.

GE Run

Its GE run on Sunday.
But i can't seem to muster energy to jog these days.
Is it because i did not do enough jogging?
Is it because i ate too much bread and snacks?
Or is it simply coz my legs are too tired to carry my growing weight?
Sigh.
And where the H*** is my running chip?
Grrr

Sick stories

Those scums of the earth make me sick.

If 2006's movie genre is tragedy
Movie 2007 's genre is definitely HORROR.

Btw
To 3 ACJC students: 'Permanent part-timers' make perfect sense. Don't presume that people at small mama-shops can't write decent notice.

Weary.

I want to read " I am a cat"

Updates

Long time since I've updated?
More at peace I guess.
And so many things to do!
Want to learn diving
Want to climb a mountain
Want to go for overseas community projects
Want to train for Half-Marathon
Want more time to do sports
Want to be able to play G-chord on guitar
Want to finish all my school's admin stuff
Still want to sleep more.

24 hrs is not enough.
Life is too short to feel sad.
1 minute per day is more than enough.
haha!
And I've surprised myself. I am happy already.

That day, my student wrote my name on the whiteboard.
And another student's mom told me her daughter always call my name at home. And she threw a tantrum at home that day i was on MC.

Love comes in many forms.

S.M.I.L.E =)

Not relevant. Just like the look of this.

Run For Hope

Completed my first official run- Terry Fox 8km
Not much to speak of. Pretty slow and had a tough time on the sand.
But feel a small spark of achievement.
Its pretty fun, and the obasang in me adored the free towel, the banana, the drinks. Purple wristband. Ain't life great?
Pity about the race T-shirt though.
Coz its Terry Fox Run, there are runners with prosthestics, still moving ahead in life.
Count blessings. I have 2 legs, however fleshy they may be...

Looking forward to more races to come.

recently

Many people, many things, many thoughts
randomly.

classic introvert
friends
unworthy
damage
guitar
piano
therapy
masters
6 months, 5 years, 10 years
marriage
courage
"i am good at it"
books
money
'mostly martha'

Shards
Jiggle and tinker
In that empty case
Once gapping and flushed
Gradually, hard shell grows over
No longer will it tear, nor will it sever
The shape that beats and resides within.

Shards
Littered and trinkled
Across the floor of surroundings
Carefully, Gingerly, tired feet tread
No longer will one look on with longing
The singular thing that stays out of reach.

Shards
Trouble yet covered
Behind the eyes of those haunted
Thoughtfully, helplessly stashed away
Though pained to see their windows clouded...
Inevitable, you know, will this once again occur...

Muppet Show -

THere was an old lady who swallowed a fly...

Your Inner Gender is Male

You are rational, matter of fact, and quite dominant.You like to get things done, without any emotional messiness.You truly don't understand most women. And you definitely feel more comfortable around men.No doubt about it. You're a guy - at least on the inside.

What's" Your Inner Gender?

Uncanny 3

Btw. Think the kid's mom sensed that I'm plotting his demise.
Coz they are shifting house. May be transferring to another school if school bus goes to his new home.
But of coz, it is prob not gonna materialize this year... Even if he gets to transfer, he'll prob have to wait till NEXT year... But STILL... that is pretty amazing huh... haha

7 babies really can drive me nuts sometimes.
Though they make me laugh and smile as well... its still shortchanging them. 7 to 1 crappy teacher. Sigh. Sorry babies.

ANywayz.
Another uncanny
Been looking for out this precious moment figurine. Though not available since donkey years ago. (no harm trying luck). Did not manage to find the figurine of coz. But in span of... 1 week? Saw 3 different merchandise with the same message: Puzzle, notebook and cushion.

I MUST start thinking real hard about 4D / Toto numbers soon.

Hauntings

Long time no see.
Been missing me?
Your blabbering nonsensical Gemini ASD hag? haha... Talk about soliloquys...

Been reading Veronika Decides to Die. Slowly. Savouring every word. Coz i've spent 17bucks on this skinny paperback. Maybe I want to make every single cent worthwhile. Auntie. haha
One of Paulo's earlier books, setting pretty different from The Alchemist.
And its haunting me... kinda painful to read coz it seems to reflect my own monotonous life.
One thing that Paulo keeps on emphasizing is: putting up a fight for own dreams. Not allow yourself to slip into a routine and helplessly accept the life you're used to...

Anywayz, one of the major themes in Veronika is MADNESS. The theme of madness vs normal... another Gothic attack. About how madness is feared because its not understood.

Stunner: (what a cool nurse... haha)
"'Keys?' said the nurse. 'The door is always open. You don't think i'll stay locked up in here with a load of mental patients, do you?' "

I think I could enjoy being mad:
"...once in a mental hospital, a person grows used to the freedom that exists in the world of madness and becomes addicted to it. You no longer have to take on responsibilities, to struggle to earn your daily bread, to be bothered with repetitive, mundane tasks. You could spend hours looking at a picture and making absurd doodles. Everything is tolerated because, after all, the person is mentally ill."

Lots more that makes the heart ache. To end off...Something we should perhaps think about:

"The happier one can be, the unhappier they are"

Btw... Zhuz... so can we get a discount? Remember to ask your friend!

Uncanny Part Deux

Its uncanny.

Or maybe its really the mind machine working its magic.

Talked to zhuz over MSN just now. And she was telling me that she is currently reading this book- the male protagonist likes to watch 'Days of Our Lives' . Coincidentally, I juz mentioned it out of the blue in one of my entries.

(btw, zhuz, more about this soap opera- there are lotsa soapliloquys.. i mean soliloquys. They are always talking to 'themselves'. Its lotsa talking talking...Hardly any action.)

More uncanny stuff. Was going on and on about Paulo Coelho recently. zhuz had also intended to read 'The Alchemist'. AND. After I mentioned him, he appeared in Straits Times Life! ANywayz, they did an interview on him and he commented that books should be passed around and not lay idle in libraries (sthing to that effect) Hence, he'll leave books that he has finished reading around, like garden benches, cafes etc... Nice idea isn't it? When i told D, he (will be undergoing name change soon) said that there was such a movement in Singapore also... is that right? Pple leaving books around... something like pass-it-on.

Some more uncanny- 2 blogs I've been reading mentioned Christmas (one on July 16th, the other on July 17th) They don't cross paths, NOPE. So its... uncanny when i read about the same thing within a same period of time...

ANywayz. I'm not really writing or thinking properly. Juz wanna quickly finish the post I've started... yesterday. (Today is Thursday)
Actually had lotsa thoughts when i went to jog on Tue night... but was too tired to sort and type them out...

Btw... one of the favourite 'uncanny' stuff or coincidence or telepathy (or whatever you wanna call it) happens right at home. I'd be having cravings for some food and come home to find that my mom has bought them on that very day. Think my brain waves sent some messages to her or sthing? Haha! No complaints =)
Talking about that, was listening to 933FM that day, and DJs were saying that some research in China concluded that WILL POWER can really make things move physically (ESP?) So i better curb my mean thoughts huh... in case my will power really murder the kid.

Having started ranting... can't stop!

Point Form:

1. I suspect I have blood sugar problems after reading 'MIND YOUR BODY'
2. I have been to school brighter and earlier these days (one resolution fulfilled! for this week at least...)
3. I have not been doing work at home (yay!)
4. I had a great session at gym today ( Treadmill and yoga. Yoga's great. If i am mistaken about being a cat in my last life. I could have been a piece of rubber? OK. I just have loose ligaments. Digression: Anyone remember the rubber man from one of Enid Blyton's book?! Digression 2: I can't believe that hardly any kids these days read Enid Blyton! Missing out on so much... Digression 3: At least my cousind does =D)
5. But I'm still damn fat. (stepped on weighing machine. Shiokness experienced at gym reduced)
6. Post Cranberry Almond Crunch is delicious! (been eating Post Cereals for years. Only tried this flavour recently. Darn... all those lost times and lost discounts from NTUC)

Much faster. More updates when I'm ready.

Good night.

Gemini with Autism

I think I'm a true blue (purple) Gemini...
Suddenly wondered that day if i feel abit unmotivated at work because I am alone.
There is only one preschool class in the afternoon session. And there's only me =/
Its really the first time in 2 years I don't work with a partner. Need someone to keep egging me on, to talk to, to discuss stuff with, to keep tabs on me (haha!) and to have ideas bounce off each other...

Where's my twin?

Its kinda a devastating "realisation"... coz i always thought that i'm perfectly fine alone. And in fact i love being alone. And alone doesn't imply 'lonely'. Been to PS very often these days. Only saw that there are pictures on the floor (route from mrt to PS) coz i walked alone. Doubt i'll notice if i'm yakking with someone beside me.
Will I become dull and muted if i end up being alone and a spinster one day?
What if its my 'personal legend' (refer to The ALchemist) to be a twin? NOOOoooo...
Wait, my personal legend is to be a tai-tai... yay

After establishing that i am indeed a Gemini, another realisation made me understand why this Gemini is so crap at communication. Geminis are supposed to be the chatty kind who can always come up with good conversations. Not me. I'm a social leper. So i can't be a Gemini. But i AM definitely part of a twin! So I'm a Gemini. YadddaYaddaaaaa...
Simple. Coz i have ASD lah.
And its getting more serious with age...

Was seriously upset when things I've been expecting to happen didn't happen.
So ... don't fly me aeroplane please.
Coz i'm autistic.


This siao, autistic Gemini...

Bloodthirsty

I think I have never felt such a strong urge to murder someone before.

Know that I was a spitefire with a nasty temper when I was in PrimarySchool.
Thought I'm already better.

But now guess I gotta sing this:
"It was so long ago, but its all coming back to me..."

Somebody, save the boy.

五月天 - 孫悟空

Mayday. Again. For my own viewing pleasure. Haha
Finally found one with ok quality, but words so tiny.
Enjoy

五月天 忘詞MV 清晰版

Another one I like

垃圾車

Funny Song

Floodgates

Nope, not tears.
Saliva.
When i stopped. I can't start.
Once i start, i can't seem to stop.
Its all about inertia and momentum right? haha

Friday

Sis and I baked some muffins- Yoghurt and Lemon flavoured. I thought they tasted alright. Just need to be sweeter. But sis found them horrid. Anyway, she threw them out because she reckoned no one would wanna eat them haha.

Saturday

Supposed to watch Harry Potter at 10pm. When we reached the theatre, saw 4 of our friends standing there, telling us that there were no seats left. At first, we thought they were joking, that they were waiting for the rest. How could there be no seats? They went in and saw pple already on our seats and they were holding the tix indicating the same seat numbers.
Apparently, there were duplication of tix during booking.
Wasn't really involved in the whole saga, but thought the management didn't handle the situation very well. And they really need to check the up the dictionary on the word: 'compensation'.

Firstly, ushers went in to call the pple on the seats to come out. They thought we should have the seats because we have already booked the tix a few days ago whilst those pple bought on that day itself. DUH? Do they think we want to evict them? They were already comfortably on their seats and the show has already started... It doesn't make donkey sense to make those pple suffer for the computer system's mistake. They were also victims...
The management kept on saying that they understand and they will compensate us.
Compensation:
"We'll sign these ticket stubs, and you can return any day, any time to watch the movie again"
WHAT?! You're just giving us back what we've paid for in the first place and you have the cheek to call it compensation? Hello?!
What about the dampened spirits? What about E (who would usually be late) was on time for once because she took cab? What about the time that 8 of us wasted in travelling there? And we have to go back again to watch....?!

They then offered to let us watch Harry Potter at later time slots. Initially said there were still seats for 1.15am show. TOO LATE for us. They suggested 12.45am, though only front row seats are left. Erm... 12.45am is ALOT earlier than 1.15am i suppose.
Basically, they are crap at pacifying pple.

Anyway, after haggling from E, who was very fierce (steady man... haha) we finally got something that resembled compensation:
1. Refund for our tickets
2. 2 movie vouchers per person.

Makes more sense, but still feels weird. Coz we were supposed to be watching movie! Luckily my autism is not that severe, else i'll be throwing a fit.

So instead of watching movie, we went KTV. haha!
The package was till 4 am... *snore* And its expensive ... but at least there's the refund from our movie tix to 'subsidise' us haha

And at 12am, they played this game: Zhong Ji Mi Ma (the taiwanese variety gameshow where you'll be kicked out if you guessed that number) Maximum 2 representatives from the various rooms. There were about 10 participants in total.
And D won haha! (so he concluded that he should never buy 4D or Toto. Coz he'll never get the number right haha!) The grand prize for winning- one free jug of drink...
Reached home at 4 plus and slept at 5 plus... zzZzz

To complete my ktv-intensive weekend, went K-lunch with hui & xian. Was fun and we get to listen to nice songs =)
Unfortunately, really too tired to hang out after that... just went home to catch a few winks.

Okie.
That's my weekend.

Drool Alert!

Ever held on to some pole on the public bus and it feels sticky? Wet? (Or am I the only unfortunate one?)

Was on 334 the other day and saw this Malay kid licking the pole. (He's not even a baby, already 5 years old? According to Freud, he's in oral fixation stage? Isn't he abit too old for that?!)

The bus was very uncomfortable and crowded. I was pissed. That tasting incident didn't help. I just felt like going: "EEEE, so dirty."
A little malay girl (whom i thought was Indian because of her dressing) went on to assume the position and held on to that pole. Miraculously, she missed the spot he licked on. I felt like saying " Don't hold that part, one dirty little boy licked on it just now"
Somehow, she just didn't touch the sticky area.

Later, I realised that she's the sister of that very Malay boy. Maybe she knows about her bro's perchant for public poles: The ever delicious Metal-flavoured lolly.

ANYWAYz

YUCK.

My Past Life

Haven't updated in some time- snagged a draft written some time ago. haha!
_________________________________________________________

I told fav I must have been a cat in my past life.

She said she feels the same. haha

Maybe we were all cats *meow*

Anyway, reason why I say that.

My primary school chinese teacher is this interesting chap with lotsa stories to tell us. He's the Jack Neo of Jurong loh. (Emerged with this phrase, coz just heard from a friend that his teacher used to tell him that Commonwealth Sec School is the RI of Jurong haha!)

Oh, oh... i feel a need to digress.

Went to D's friends convo on 4th July. One of his buddy is currently teaching Commonwealth Sec before he goes NIE. Which is now at the old RV site at Teban. (Hey! And i think RV moved to Commonwealth area b4...?!)

Another of D's buddy was the one who studied at the RI of Jurong.

Summarising our Commonwealth ties:
1. BL teaching at Commonwealth Sec
2. Dan used to study at Commonwealth Sec
3. I stay next to old Commonwealth Sec (Sis used to study there) & currently Commonwealth Sec is located at old RV site (I used to study at RV)
4. D= Out of point.

Anywayz, coz we had dinner quite late, @ 11.30, we had to take cab home. Jokingly told cab uncle: (We were juz talking amongst ourselves actually, din think uncle knew what we were talking about. haha)
"Uncle, first drop this guy who is teaching at Commonwealth Sec. Next, drop this lady who stays at the block next to the old Commonwealth Sec. Lastly, drop this guy who really used to study at Commonwealth Sec."
Well. Private joke.

Ok. Back to Mr Yap. He had this theory: Basically when translated from Chinese, it implied that when 1 person says it, its crap. When 2 persons say so, its of some credibility. When 3 persons mention it, its the TRUTH.


3 persons who have called me a meow:

Shall give JM the honor of being the first la. He said I'm like a cat. Always leaning here and there. Like very lazy. Thanks uh. I appreciate it. *snarl*

Next, XL, the girl who sat next to me in sec4. Her nickname for me is 'GarGar' (not some lovey-dovey thingy like darling= DarDar) Its simply short for Garfield.
Not too far from the truth ya?! Sleepy, droopy eyes and immense interest in FOOD.

The most recent- S, my colleague. One day, she juz suddenly commented " You remind me of a cat"
Now she calls me Kitty Cat.

So over a period of 10 years, I've been linked to cats.

Of course, its not just based on these people's comments. I used to hate when pple commented that i'm like a cat. Upon reflection... i AM indeed quite cattish. Nua qualities firmly in place. I'm not sure about having 9 lives though...

I used to hate the black cat that lurks around my void deck and flashed its green eyes at me every morning. And the one cat i used to hate the most is the Persian cat. Thought its the worst breed ever- high and mighty, sleeps on armchairs and lush carpets, have luxurious food etc. You get the idea. Ironically, NOW, if i have to be a cat, I so want to be a Persian Cat- Its the tai-tai of Cats society.

Dream on, alley cat.

Wo shi mao, meow meow meow...

Days of Our Lives

The only other person I know who watched 'Days of Our Lives' was my gf from Hwachong. And we are not proud of it. Could still remember that we were strolling around the amphitheatre when i sheepishly admitted that instead of studying for A'Levels, i was watching 'Days of our Lives'. And to surprisingly.... she revealed that she watched that as well. She was equally sheepish. haha!

'Like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives"

Anyway... just thought of some of the days that have passed.

Friday had been good. Didn't pluck rambutans afterall. Coz was discussing Racial Harmony with D. (colleague) But we did have dinner after school. 5 of us- Phuah, M, D, Muah and myself. Although they are 8,9,10,12 years older than me, still had a good time. Nice people to hang out with. Coincidentally, was still talking to hui about hanging out that day. haha

And went to JE with sis after gym ysty. Gosh. We spent a few hours there. Hey, but we did go to the library.

Uh. TOo lazy to write anymore.

Don't Usually Check

Sorry folks, I don't usually check if I have comments... so I just noticed Meiren's offer to lend me the book. And JUST saw Zhuz site for FOC book =)

Thanks Zhuz!

Had thought of putting up a tagboard. But my blog is this very rural spot lah... like building a condo in a sparsely-populated village. Don't bother =p
Don't malu myself also.
haha!

My Extraordinary Ah-Q Spirit

I realised that my Title is often unrelated to what I babble for the content.
Guess its just this 'tagline' that stands out from my random thoughts.

Before i forget: YES Meiren, I want The Alchemist please! Thank you! (Didn't find a single Paul Coelho book at Woodlands Branch. There were like 8 copies of his books at Jurong... DUh.)

Juz read my sis' blog and i regret to say... Resolutions are meant to be broken. Erm. Or at least for the very first week. Things will get better next week! At least I say so.
But one sliver lining... I've finally finally registered for piano lessons =P
I realise that I don't do anything unless on impulse. I wandered into the school, asked lotsa questions. Walked out and went back in on the same day. (Despite knowing that there is also a Yamaha at Sbwang, and that Civic centre should also have music school...)
And when I went back home, Mom told me that my sis' private teacher years ago is still teaching (she taught me almost 18 yrs ago too hah) ... and her rate is cheaper.
ANYWAYZ, i have signed up and I'm starting lessons soon. No regrets. Fullstop.

Long long looooong time ago, when i was talking to Mo on the phone, and I was telling her how I think in an Ah-Q manner. Coincidentally, I called myself a 'optimistic pessimist' haha.
I happen to have a lot of Ah-Q thoughts today.

1. I get angry at my kids (thus dooming my resolutions) because I notice enough what they are doing to get irritated
2. I flare up at my kids because I care enough to want them to do the right thing
3. I get irritated on public transport because my mind is clear enough to see people and 'dramas' around me
4. I didn't do enough exercise this week because i need to lose the flesh first. (meaning eat less)
5. I'm ugly so that its easier look better
6. I'm still fat because it takes time to slim down.
7. I'm still procrastinating because it takes time to change
8. A leopard never changes its spots. But its ok, I'm not a leopard. I'm just the neighbourhood alley cat (more about that in other posts... if i remember haha)
9. Short. (No redeeming thought available =/ Shall talk about that obession later, prob in another post...if i remember...hahaha)

Just some examples ... Basically, I suddenly realised that my mind is bustling with observations on the MRT... something that has not happened for quite a while because the mind was busy being bogged down by other issues Hence, my personal Ah-Q conclusion:

Although the sights/observations may not always be pretty... thoughts, no matter how much they irritate you, indicate that the heart is in the right frame of mind. (Meaning that if you are in the dumps, you won't give a shit about what is happening around you. haha)

Anyway, let's talk about some happy stuff

Things to look forward to:

• Rambutan-plucking after school with Muah and Phuah
• Dinner @ AMK after plucking
• 2 hrs of Gym classes on Sat? Please please please?
• Start of piano lessons
• Convo with R and A? (implying no school on wed?)
• Making pass the Half-year mark?
• KTV
• Making progress with resolutions? (Pls lah...)

By the way, 2 persons I noticed on the train:
1. Aged: 50plus man who is bald. He was scratching his head. And there are some sores, some scabs. Scratch Scratch, flick, flick flick.

2. Aged: ~3 year-old boy. Sitting on Mom's lap looking bored. Moved his teeny index finger towards the nose. He looked like he wanted to dig his nose. Funny thing is, he missed. Took a few tries to poke his finger into his nostril. haha! (I assure you there is no boogey)

2 terrific words I've been using in my PPT and infecting my ASD boy with:

THE END

Way Back Into Love (full version)

Nice Song

Books

Btw, have also finished almost 3 other books over the week...

One is Stealing Adda, which is just alright. Cheesy romance. Fullstop.

Done with Paul Coelho. (The Devil and Miss Prym) It features quite a lot on the struggles between the devil and light within self. Ultimately, the message is probably that good and evil will both exist, but essentially, one's choice determines the final verdict. Think I'm gonna actively search for Veronika Decides to Die and also The Alchemist. Slightly more intelligent stuff than what I usually read, yet at the same time won't destroy too much brain cells.

Still reading The Petty Details of So-and-So's Life by Camilia Gibb. Quite painful to read. Coz the characters in the book aren't exactly leading beautiful lives. Not sure whether its gonna have a happily-ever-after ending... but probably gonna read till the end since i'm almost done with it...

Mid-Year Resolutions

People always say that new year resolutions always fail to work out. Hence, shouldn't have any. But they forget to mention that mid-year resolutions should be made. Mid-year resolutions are the best and always have the best results. Or at least i say so.

School:

1. Finish lesson plan by Sundays
2. Do at least 1/2 of resources required by weekend
3. Reach School by 11am every day
4. Finish required admin work 1 day before due date
5. Refrain from losing temper with babies
6. Read an article about special needs once a week

Personal:

1. Lose 4kg by the end of the year (bloody hell... so difficult. Sigh)
2. Jog at least twice a week (refer to 1)
3. Go to gym at least once a week (refer to 1)
4. No carbo/sweets after 8.30pm (refer to 1)
5. Avoid denial. Hop scale once every 2 days (refer to 1)
6. Learn Piano (unrelated to 1)
7. Curb spending on self
8. Save up to 25% of income. TOUGH. Make it 20%... (refer to 6,7)
9. Be more attentive to family and friends
10. Reflect. Every week.
11. Live life meaningfully.

Okie... I think I'm aiming too high... If i do exercise 3 times a week and learn piano. 4 out of 7 days are taken up. So will I have time to finish stuff at school and also be more attentive towards important people. Hmm...

But mid-year resolutions are bound to see results. So no harm aiming high right?

hur hur hur

Forgot about another resolution.

Be more environmentally friendly:

• Use less toilet paper, tissue paper, plastic bags
• Use less water (for clothes for shower for beverage)
• Switch off lights, laptop and TV before i sleep (guilty =/)
• Set timer for air-con, hi-fi.

Bubblegirl

Watched Bubbleboy around this time last year at Bintan with hui and fav.

Thought of it, coz i realised that I am quite a bubblegirl.
Roundness aside... i cease to see a larger world.

Self-centred bubblegirl.

Twisted.

Waiting for 502 after gym last nite... and was seriously pained to see how pple drive.
Accidents waiting to happen.
And cringed to see this cab-driver shouting at another driver although he was in the wrong.

Saw this heavily pregnant woman carrying a laptop. Back from work?
Poor life...

Still reading book. Good, evil, good & evil.

Decided to wake up earlier, go school earlier. Come home earlier. Sleep earlier.
Room shall be a purely slacking place. Work- living room desktop and school.

Aiming, to climb at least a mountain, before my bones crackle. Do community service overseas, before i'm am reduced to an old freak.

Still need to lose weight. Definitely before my Levi's vouchers expire. 5 months.

Too lazy to think and compose complete sentences.

Good nite.

How?

I have no idea how you do it.
But you just know.

Focus more on what's done,
Not what's said...

Smile
=D

Short note of Observation

I realise that I don't blog.
I digress.

Maybe its because i went Cameron and Taiwan... Maybe its coz its D's bday and mine, hence a busy period.

But i notice that i write a lot less here when i'm supposed to have more time on my hands.

Now that i'm gonna start work, i'm back here!

So all i do is: Digress.

Biggest Ambition in Life

I never thought that I'd say this.
But my biggest ambition in life is to be a tai-tai.
Not housewife or ah-soh. Its tai-tai.
Was telling meiren on the bus juz now that it is really the most desirable option in my life right now.
To be a tai-tai.
And together we explored the wonderful benefits of being one:
We don't have to work at all. We can bake or cook stuff at home. (in our well-equipped kitchen of coz...)
We can dilly-dally at home, iron a few shirts or sweep the floor abit if we're bored. (I don't really need maid coz I don't have children)
If we have nothing to do, we can read books (tai-tai buy books, not go library.)
We can go shopping, and when we're tired, go for a manicure or pedicure.
Also, we can ask friends to hang out and go for high tea.
We can free-lance, IF we feel like it. Furthermore, we can do volunteer work when we want to.

Cool. haha!
Meiren said that its probably every single girl's dream to be a tai-tai... yep. Who in their right frame of mind would reject the possibility of being a tai-tai?! Of coz, some ladies wanna be career woman and fight it out at the rat race out there. But one has the choice as to whether to work or stay at home. That is to say, if the woman suddenly decides that her boss or employees are hateful, she can afford to toss her resignation stylishly on the table and just leave. And go back home to lead her tai-tai lifestyle. And this is not to say that tai-tais have to be bimbotic ladies who stay at home all day and are ignorant or talk only about how sparkling their diamonds are or how expensive the new water feature is . Essentially being a tai-tai implies: My husband has the cash. I can choose the lifestyle i want.

Actually...
I should seriously sit down and reflect properly what I want to do in the next few years... Not like i'm getting any younger. And wanting to be a tai-tai is absolutely desirable but i have yet to know any 'golden turtle'. PLEASE recommend me one... A semi-blind one would be most welcome.

Well... that's the long-term ambition at least.

For the short-term "ambition"... i aim to lose 2kg in 3months... haha... not sure whether its attainable. Maybe i'm not even ambitious enough.
But i can't keep growing fatter. Given the looming GST hike in July, it doesn't make economic sense to gain weight. I can't afford to buy new clothes =/

ANywayz. That's is about all for ambition. For now.
Hopefully I come up with something with more spunk soon.

Reflect. Don't just dream. Ha ha ha

Lin Yu Zhong - Shi Lian Xue

Desperado

by Emi Fujita.
She has this lovely soothing voice...
Dunno why video like that though.
But still worth a listen! Enjoy!

Demis Roussos - Rain And Tears (Live In Bratislava)

Hey... YouTube is Fabulous.

So I've been doing work?

Well... back to blogative mode (derived from talkative)

Came back a while ago from D's place... which is only like 90 minutes away... which means that I can finish watching the lovely Legend of the Sea once through, and still have 17 minutes of spare time to cringe. Its actually the first time I've travelled from his place back home via bus/train. Other times... i've been fuelling the cab economy. But its not like i've been there many times.
Anywayz, guess i could empathise the times he had to travel back home from My place. Though not alot of times also.

Was reading this book by Paulo Coelho called The Devil and Miss Prym on the train back. Pretty intriguing so far. He was also the one who wrote Veronika Decides to Die, which i have been wanting to read since a friend mentioned it during JC years. Coincidentally, Sis just mentioned that she should re-read that book. And i borrowed "The Devil", not knowing that "Veronika" is also by Coelho.

Its kinda uncanny really, how things or issues recently mentioned by someone pops up in other ways. For instance, D was just telling me on Thursday night about this Taiwan Porridge he liked. On Friday afternoon (the very next day, mind you...) , I saw in the news that this the place, together with other restaurants at indoor stadium must shift.

Just a few hours ago, i was contemplating throwing out some old stuff i had to clear my pig-sty... and over msn, HX was telling me about the old letters and stuff which she just dug up and have threw out...

One of the most uncanny incident was getting lost with QX while going to East Coast Park. That happened donkey years ago. (Sec 4) He's a hopeless directionless donkey, and I was a donkey to have gone with him, not knowing that he's crap at directions. Anyway... we ended walking around Kallang/Katong area, and finally found our way there after hoping onto 197. Well, i was the smarter donkey. At least i know that 197 can get us nearer to ECP. Anyway...guess the point was, freakily enough, i got into VJC for first TWO months. SO i got to pass by the routes i previously got lost at just a month ago...

Sometimes, am not sure whether the mind is being more sensitive to certain topics, things or places after having heard about them. Hence 'coincidences' occur more readily. Or perhaps its really the Uncanny (*shudder* reminds me of the Gothic paper in JC. Could never understand how to write about Gothicism properly...)

Erm. I have no idea how laments over the long trip home led to all this but...
Hey, i finished another novel. Not bad also. Its called Dixieland Sushi by Cara Lockwood (btw, IF you are doing a Gothic paper, you'd be oohooh and ahh-ahhing over the name : LOCKWOOD. I think some character from Wuthering Heights has this name la. So according to our lecturer, it has deeper meaning- something hard, stoic. And possibly repressed. Coz its all locked up and stuff...See. I don't get Gothic! Whatever...)

Anyway. The book talks about a half-Japanese, half-white 30-year old heroine with this wildly funny family and this cute guy in her life of coz. (why do cute guys only occur in fiction? hmm..) Interestingly enough, it is also structured such that there are flashbacks and the present are continually juxtaposed. (Just like Separation Anxiety) Well, do check it out if you want something light...
Also been wanting to check out The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People after zhuz mentioned it... But I've never been a big fan of Self-help or Motivational Books. I don't usually make it beyond the first chapter...I'm more of a trashy-book person. No wonder I've never been effective or efficient. Sigh.

Okie.
Think that's all for NOW.
Be back when i'm doing work
wahah!

陳奕迅-愛情轉移mv

MORE Eason =p

陳奕迅 - 淘汰

Kinda like Eason recently. Like his voice and also the lyrics.
Enjoy!

Of Coincidences and Conscience.

Bumped into a few people from different phases in my life
Saw A at gym. (Sis's friend, who is also now a friend of mine after Taiwan trip)
Then walked into YN, also at gym (Choir senior whom i was close to for a while coz of U.S trip)
Stared into A at Watsons (Coursemate from NIE)
Saw YD at NTUC (someone i knew from NVAC)
Also saw LZ ysty at Queensway (Blockhead from Kent Ridge who used to knock on my door to force me to go for block meetings. haha)
Actually I always have this paranoia if I'd ever bump into people i didn't want to see. I think its pretty tragic to walk around knowing that there is this one or two persons you'd want to hide your face from. Its important to have a clear conscience ya?

Seeing people from your past is a bit like stumbling upon a familiar smell. Have you ever smelled something (be it a shampoo, perfume, shower foam, air freshener... or whatever) and you recalled something that happened during that period. For instance, i'd smell a certain shampoo and remember i was having this exam paper; or i used to use this brand of shower foam/perfume when i was spending time with a particular friend. (I used to have a Pri school classmate who liked to smell my hair- the brand i was using was Ginvera ahha... wonder if she'd still think of me if she smelled it again)
Anyway, seeing these people brought back different memories of my past... And interestingly enough they don't overlap and are unrelated to one another. So over the course of 2 days, quite abit of my personal history was stirred up... haah!

Anyway, think i am feeling slightly poignant again because i have just finished reading a book (freshly picked from the library just a few hours ago =p)
Its called Separation Anxiety by Karen Brichoux (also the author of COffee and KUng-Fu... which i'm writing down so that i'd remember to borrow it haha)

The plot is structured such that both the past and present of the heroine's memories are featured simultaneously. The heroine wanted to "break-up" with a friend since she has known since she was six. Bundled with memories of her family and with her friend, we learn more about her and walking with her through secrets, realisation and self-discovery.
ANyway... i am crap at writing book reviews... so guess i'll end off with saying i enjoyed the book and it is definitely more meaningful than those thrashy ones i normally occupy my eyes with. (else i wouldn't have devoured 233 pages in... 3 hours?)

And you know how hopeless romantics always wish to have this lovely childhood friend/boy-next-door/best-friend type who knows you inside-out, whom you know you can depend your life on, whom you'd immediately turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on... *Major Awwww*
But of coz, that's only a fantasy. No such thing in real life. Not in my own life at least. Not that I mind really... I'm old and pragmatic enough not to feel any regret for this sort of thing... ahah
Well, I'm contented to reserve my romantic streak for fiction from the library. haha
Ultimately, there are some men you gawk at, and some men you MARRY. I observe a pattern from my colleagues' partners...

Digressions.
Told Muah that if i ever have children (which i seriously doubt i would...) I'd teach him/her CONFIDENCE. Realised that with confidence, so much can be achieved... and he/she can live through life a much happier person.
Next thing i wanna teach is EQ. She said you learn about EQ from the experiences in life... which is true ya? Well, one can be damn brilliant or wildly efficient, but with no EQ... its bound to get people's backs up...

So my kids will be armed with: Confidence coupled with EQ.
Studies can come later.
That is because I would a tai-tai and my children can lead a comfortable, leisurely life. They can be average students but still be successful in life because they have Confidence and EQ and also money from their dad's reserve to have them start some businesses. haha
Then again, i think my children should be pretty smart to begin with because my partner must have dazzled me with his intelligence in the first place. Smart parents usually produce smart children right? haha

Too much digressions.

Lazy

Been too lazy to write anything in this space haha... which implies that I'm am not doing any school work...
Like all other holidays, i have no idea why time must fly ...in the blink of an eye. Poof. Gone.
Now with only ONE week of holiday left and ZERO work done, feeling kinda down liaoz haha
Apparently, life after NIE really ONLY left me with more time to procrastinate... GOSH. I'm disgusting haha!

SIgh.
Think I better write some proper sentences before I become some airhead. (Even Paris Hilton has decided that she wanna stop pretending to be stupid.)

-THURSDAY-
Watched one extremely awful movie - Legend of the Sea. Its this cheena lousy animation. Lousy script, lousy storyline, lousy EVERYTHING and amateur animation. If you think the facial expressions of the characters in The Polar Express look fake... Legend is 100 times worse. There's nothing to see! I think those who did the animation and script are absolutely lazy. Did they look through the crap before deciding that its ready for screening? Coz it definitely SHOULD NOT be shown. No coherence whatsoever. 73 minutes of my life were wasted on this crap. Geez. I think its more worth it if i spend this time procrastinating my life away. haha! Its SO damn bloody awful, especially when this monster octopus started singing with her sidekicks- ridiculously off- pitch! There were instances I couldn't stop sniggering. Not because its funny. Its incredulously HORRID, thats why.
And if you're wondering why the hell we watched it... D has got $5 tix to watch either this movie or Ocean's Thirteen on Thursday. No prize for guessing who chose to watch the animation... haha!
Actually, over the years, there is only ONE Chinese movie i watched at a theatre, and didn't feel that its a waste of my money: Kung-Fu Hustle. (hey, but to give local movies credit... Just Follow Law is not too bad also)
Anyway... whoever wrote or made Legend of the Sea please please PLEASE stay away from this industry forever. It is evident that they have no flair or whatsoever in this field. Or perhaps they're just really plain lazy and have no pride in what they are doing. It must be so humiliating to be associated with this film in my opinion... and its embarrassing to have watched it. URgH! Well. At least i didn't pay for it. But still... *shudder*

-FRIDAY-
Went shopping with HX at Far East Plaza. Maybe i haven't been in the loop for ages...but there were so many things to buy!!! That girl bought 4 pairs of shoes, and a few tops. She would have bought another pair of shoes if i didn't stop here... ahaha! I'm fared pretty well myself- 2 pairs of shoes and 3 tops? The scary thing is we met up at 2plus and finished at 8 plus.(minus 1 hr of dinner...) We only managed to cover the basement! Had wanted to shop at Level 2, and even Tangs. But well... no time. haha!
Also went to have a haircut. Not used to it but can live with it la.
ANywayz, did have a good time shopping and sharing a few laughs with that woman.

-SATURDAY-
Well. Supposed to go kayaking with colleagues and have dinner with D. But both didn't materialise. That man need to ZZZ. Its kinda disgusting how busy one can get. Whenever i hear of his plans for the week, i feel tired on his behalf liao. haha
Anywayz, FINALLY made my way back to gym classes. Went for yoga and combat today. i've become so unfit from the lack of exercise. Fortunately my favourite instructor wasn't being too sadistic today, else i'd have died in there. Totally SHIOK. Must really make a point to go gym more often. Disgustingly FAT. Been feeling VERY grouchy because my clothes are so tight.
Actually... i did make a point to exercise la... (hey, i still jog, though very slow, think too fat liao, legs cannot tahan. haha! And i climbed stairs instead of taking lift 90% of the time...) but then again, my mouth has been working the fastest and hardest recently... and my willpower is definitely taking a break. Oh. I forgot. "Willpower" has never been in my dictionary. haha
Perpetual guest stars in my dictionary:

1. FAT
2. Procrastinate
3. Lazy
4. sleepy
5. spend
6. cab
7. late
8. FAT
9. stone
10. procrastinate
11. FAT
12. FATTER

Well. You get the idea.

Ah qing- yi shi de mei hao

Musically-inclined people are juz so sexy...

Busy with play

Its already the second week of school holidays! How scary is that?! And I have not done any work or planning or cleaning etc... Time flies when one is having fun. How very true.

Ended the term with Cameron Trip.

Then spent days planning for D's bday.

Final Product

Its supposed to be a coffee cheesecake. Not very appetitising right? Haha!

Then spent time packing and gettting ready for Taipei trip.
Then spent days in Taipei. Haha
Just came back from Taipei last night. IT was an enjoyable trip with good company. Took over 400 photos ... Just some snapshots, to document the trip...

~Day 1~
Arrived at Royal Castle Hotel at about 7plus. Saw fav and J the moment we got down from the bus. My first thought was- HEY! What a coincidence! Is Taipei so small that we bump one another on the streets?!

Well, actually they were waiting for us/me and brought a cake to celebrate my birthday. Was pleasantly surprised... so sweet of them =)

So its the first time i get to spend bday overseas.

Nice Box with Question Mark Candle. (Yes, I'm only 21)

My bday cake. Yummy!

(Much better than D's cake. Hahah!)

Shih Lin Night Market

Snippets

~Day 2~

Wu Lai - Wu Fen Pu- Rao He

Nice View

Waterfall

Xiao Huo Che

Lao Jie

Giant Meatballs

Heading for Wu Fen Pu

At Wu Fen Pu

(Sis, A & Me are not sure why so many pple are so enthusiastic about this place... most of the time, we were trying to muster enthusiasm for the cheap stuff there... Didn't buy much... virtually bought othing there. =p )

Rao He Night Market

Who is the woman behind the 'mask'? Haha

After 2 days of night markets, we decided that we had enough. Haha... Took a train back to Taipei Main Station.

That's about it for Day 1 and 2... and I'm too lazy to upload anymore pics... so well, till next time!

ZzZzZz

Its already 2am... but i'm still waiting for the cake to cool...Think I'm kinda stupid for baking at night...now i'll have to wait... and i'll look like a panda tmr... darn!
Anywayz.. maybe i should just record my Cameron Highlands Trip.
Although short, it was fun, relaxing and most importantly, the weather is so cool, so unlike bloddy humid Singapore =p

Saturday Evening's Temperature (20.9 degrees!)

Sunday Morning's

Just love the natural air-conditioning up there =p And because the weather is so lovely, everything grows well at Cameron. According to the guide, Cameron Highlands has four 'fragrances' (xiang1 in chinese) - hua xiang (flowers); cha xiang (tea); guo xiang (fruits) and sheez. I forgot the last xiang. Oh, cai xiang (vegetables)
And indeed, the flowers are larger, brighter and prettier there. An example:

Hua Xiang (Flowers)

Look at this! We do know the name of this flower when we see it in Singapore. But somehow those locally don't do its name justice at all!

Cha Xiang (Tea)

Well... just look at the rolling hills of tea leaves.

Guo Xiang (Fruits)

Cameron is also famous for its strawberries. Slightly overrated i must say... but still, they are pretty yummy and cost a lot less there.

Cai Xiang (Vegetables)

I'm not sure about the vegetables, but we can see the 'natives' at Cameron selling vegetables everywhere we go. Btw, notice that there are leaves surrounding the cauliflower and broccoli? I wonder why we don't see those in Singapore...

Well.. hopefully my cake is ready for fridge... but one last picture

Nothing special? Look at the chinese translation for 'Strawberry'... HAHA!

Yadda ... and its Friday

Written a few days ago...

Its Parent-Teacher Conference Week
I'm gonna meet the parents and tell them:
"I have taught your child nothing this semester.Oh, pls sign here. Thanks and goodbye."

Brooding.

And D is in Desaru. Won't be back till Wed.

Sigh.


Ta da...

Its already Friday morning... D is already back... had dinner at Suntec. If you've read the papers, you'd know about the new Food Republic that is decorated like a library. Its really nice! and the people who clear plates and trays have nicer work clothes than me. haha!
We then went to Candy Empire and i'm gonna grow fatter coz D bought me 2 large packets of assorted biscuits/cookies for snacks for Cameron... Hai4 ren2 jing1!!!
Millenia Walk is a peaceful place during weekdays... There are so many empty seats at every cafe there -Coffee Bean, Starbucks, O'briens, TCC and Coffee Club ... In the end, we decided to choose which one to go to by looking at the seats. Coffee Club won. ( Try Iced-Earl Grey Vanilla, pretty good stuff)
Walked back to Suntec to buy stuff for class party tmr. Pray that i can wake up in time to prepare the food... zZzz

And i'm still getting ready to go Cameron ... actually not ready. haha pack pack pack
I dunno why i have the tendency to pack loads of things... too kiasu i suppose... the need to be self-sufficient... i rather bring extra then have to succumb to 'accidents' and dependency haha
Hope that it'll be a fun trip. 40 over people haha... think shutter-happy me will have lotsa work to do... And hope that K will be pleasantly surprised to see me. After all, he's my not-so-subtle 'secret' admirer. =p

Tired.
Should sleep.

Its Friday of Week 10, of Term 2.
Cheers!

Older, none the wiser.

Been receiving backlashes lately. In various aspects of life...
And the worst thing is I cannot bravely declare that I am absolved of guilt, that I have done my very best. Have I? I don't think so... The truth is that all i've done is crap crap crap.

In the past, when doubts about teaching arise, I could console myself by saying that I'm new, i'm inexperienced or be optimistic and think that with time i'd improve. But now, i'm not so sure. I'm not new anymore. Nor am I inexperienced. But I'm still a damn disgusting teacher. I cringe to call myself a 'teacher'. Yuck.

Maybe I shouldn't apply for jobs which involve lives. Lives demand so much responsibility and heart which i wonder if i have, or will ever have. Perhaps i should find something which deals with profits or other less important stuff. Then my lack of responsibility won't ruin anyone...

A colleague tried to console... saying that when something happened, 70% consists of mental model, only 30% would be observation of data. Meaning that for most part, our brains have immediately decided what has happened. The only way of changing the 'situation' is changing our mental framework...Hence, when something happens, one usually points finger at others. Somehow... up till today, my finger is always pointing towards myself first... Darn. A person who perpetually has a guilty conscience should be a blamer. Can some mutated blamer bug bite me so that i can be BlamerWoman?

Chronologically older... but mentally stagnant. Regressive even.

bRRRrr

Hotel Friendship/Relationship

Inspiration for this post triggered by a certain pig... who felt the same way about old friends and 'buddies'... suddenly had this thought that actually our hearts or capacities for relationships are kinda like hotels...

Introducing- Hotel Friendship/Relationship

People check in, check out. Sometimes, they come back again. Other times, they'll never patronise this hotel of yours again.

Some 'guests' return probably because they have experienced excellent warm service which pleases them and therefore wouldn't mind coming back for more.

On the contrary, others refuse to return because they have experienced shit. Or on a more optimistic note, they cannot return because they have no time or money to stay in this hotel friendship again. Or perhaps they have found Hotel Friendships Beta... or some other hotels or whichever suits them better. Afterall, with work and so many other commitments, who has time for frequent holidays in Hotel Friendship?

One person's hell is another's heaven. And unless you are this really brilliant 6-star hotel which invest tonnes into customer service and cater to every single guest's whims and fancies, you can never please everyone.

Another problem lies in logistics. Hotel friendship only has one pathetic staff. Much as one would like to change the sheets, towels, supply all toilets with paper, provide room service, replace complimentary coffee and stuff, it cannot be done at times. This one single staff for hotel friendship also needs to address other important issues, especially FINANCES. No $, no nothing.

Sub-divisions of these capacities: Hotels or motels or even backpacker's inns.
But low prices don't mean that more guests will patronise. It also doesn't mean that expensive hotels offer suitable services. Different guests have different needs and preferences. Then again, the mood of each guest also affects how one perceives the service received. (i.e If the guest is having an unhappy holiday and is feeling grouchy, he/she may be less inclined to feel happy with any kind of service. On the contrary, if the guest is feeling joyous, lousy service can be perceived as acceptable)

Just be glad that guests come once in a while. And be contented if they've remembered this hotel fondly and will think of it sometimes.

If you're still interested in operating a hotel, receive every one, whether new or old warmly, with sincerity... If there is only this much you can offer, be honest about it... You can improve operations and service, yes. But be realistic and be true to the style and core values of your hotel. Don't change so much or pretend to be something you're not that you become some loserish poser-hotel.

So what kind of hotel are you?
And what kind of guest are you?

Finally!

Finally ... post page is back to normal. Maybe I'm just being frivolous, but feel happy that I can finally change fonts and colours. Talk about cheap thrill =p

Anyway, watched a movie 'Priceless' recently. Pretty good stuff. You know how French movies usally are like, whimsical and slightly outrageous, full of humor and twists. Starring the lovely Andrey Tautou and blue-eyed charmer Gad Elmaleh, the movie is filled with eye-candies, sparkling stones and gorgeous expensive clothes.
Watch it if you have the time-bound to be entertained *wink*

Old WOman & the Sea

I love water.
I should be a water baby. But bloddy hell, i get motion sickness. SERIOUS motion sickness.
Pathetic man... anywayz...

Mentioned cos was sitting somewhere at Boat Quay just now ... its so therapeutic. To just listen to the splashing of water against the stones, to hear the swishing, splurshing, swirling water...

Still remembered clearly that when we were still students, a few of us also sat along the Singapore River after watching a performance at VCH... we were just sitting there, singing & singing, totally unbashful and un-self-conscious... without a care in the world ... only concern was- catch the last train home... Poor students couldn't afford cab.
I remembered that the moment was so precious to me that I risked writing in the essay for my English O'levels prelims... i think the topic was "The most memorable ____" Although i sucked at writing nice, sappy stuff... i still did it... anyway, only wished i could have a copy of what i wrote then...

This song popped into my head...

THOSE WERE THE DAYS

Once upon a time there was a tavern...
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours...
And dreamed of all the great things we would do?

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Then the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If by chance I'd see you in the tavern
We'd smile at one another and we'd say....

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose....
For we were young and sure to have our way.

Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me?

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end...
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.

Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
Through the door there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh my friend were older but no wiser
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same....

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days..

Feelings of nostalgia I guess... at that time we probably really believed that nothing will ever change, no one would ever change, that we were all so close that nothing could break our friendships. Little did we know that so much will change over the years... I'd say I have expected changes to take place... but ours- so drastic, don't you think? I thought we'd be spending many Christmases together... thought we'd always be playing mahjong b4 carolling sessions... that we'd always be finding places to just stone... that we'll find more staircases to sing at...
Time, distance, misunderstandings, conflicts, drifts, undercurrents... all kinds... What happened to our houses with green, purple, blue levels?
What happened to our restaurant... our competitions, our dreamy stony moments?
Were we not accepting enough? Did we not try hard enough? Did we grow to be too self-centred? Were we looking for such different things in life?
We were very close and had loads of fun together didn't we?
So where's everyone now...

Remembered a JC classmate's answer when someone asked her why doesn't she join us for class gatherings... "I just don't see the point of meeting up... have nothing much to talk to them anymore..."

Perhaps this has happened to us... And I've thought our friendships are like cycling or swimming -once you've acquired the skills, it doesn't matter how long u cease to cycle or swim. You'll always know how... Or you'll be able to pick it up again in a minute... Guess i was too naive.

Poignant for a while...
Old woman knows that this is life, this is reality and will feel some loss and sadness but shall not grieve.
At least we had those moments, we were truly happy together before.
We didn't live our lives standing still, that's enough ya?
Meanwhile, can only sincerely wish that those who had such zero desire to look back or could not even bear to touch the past are happy with their lives right now.
Best wishes. From the bottom of my stony heart, or whatever you choose to think my heart is like... haha
Bottoms up, old friends!

The Angel of Music Sings Songs in My Head

Opps, long overdue...
Rewind- Tue 8/5/2007

Just came back from Phantom. =)
Thought I should blog it so that I'll remember it 10 years down the road. ( Watched it about 10 years ago at Indoor Stadium...or was it Kallang Theatre. But I couldn't remember very much, either because i was too young or because it happened too long ago =p )

So much details, shall attempt to offer my 2-cents worth thematically:

-SETS-

-The First scene-
started off with boring auction with dingy settings... Was honestly not captivated until the chandelier appeared, lighted up and ascended. And those majestic pillars at the sides, the huge colourful backdrop... 3 letters: WOW. haha! Instantly won over and am convinced that i did not see that 10 years ago =p

-Phantom's Den-
Who can forget the river, clever use of depth, lighting and dry ice?

-Masquerade-
I absolutely love that scene! Fantastic slivery costumes with cast on the staircase, great lighting which accentuates the mood of the party. Flashed out in true blue masquerade style. It is EXACTLY how i imagined this scene to be. Fabulous!

-The Point Of No Return-
Somehow loved the depth and colors of backdrop. Sorry I dunno how to describe. haha!

Overall:
Lotsa drapery used in the making of this musical. I adore those lush curtains, suit the era so well.
To end off, use of sets: Clever, clever!


-CAST-

-Phantom- (Brad Little?)
Initially I found his voice a tad too savage. But his voice is so elastic- one moment, its harsh and sneering. In a blink of an eye, (or should i say b4 earwax could tremble haha!) it turned light and gentle. His falsetto is so steady! The very last line "...music of the night" Mesmerising!
And when he sang "All i asked of you" Its just a few lines, but won Raoul (who sang the whole song) hands down. Quality over quantity any day =p
Btw, the physique of Phantom for this show don't quite fit my imagination. He is too tall in my opinion. My impression of Phantom is this average-height, stout, broad-faced man. This guy not only has voice that stretches on, but also has long legs and stretches on... well! Not my cup of Phantom physically.

-Christine- (Rebecca Pitcher?)
Voice. Not too bad. Not as sweet as the Christine I had in my mind. But still provided a stellar performance, especially during "The Point of No Return", she proved to be a versatile actress and not only some whiny vulnerable teeny lady in distress. (when i said teeny, i mean it. She's very petite. Made Phantom and Raoul look so macho haha)

-Raoul- ( John Bowles?)
He's every bit Raoul in the looks department. While he has a clear voice, its a bit lacking in emotion. As mentioned earlier, his biggest part, singing "All I Ask of You" was not that romantic... And when Christine was captured by Phantom and he was kept outside the gate, he couldn't pull off his worry and desperation or whatever... Its as if he's just following the script... walking-singing marble statue. haha

-Carlotta- (Pauline du Presis?)
Pretty much the noisy diva with soprano voice. However, her voice was overshadowed by the rest during "Prima Donna"! (disappointed... one of my favourite songs... more about it later)


-MUSIC/SONGS-

-Music of the Night-
I was looking forward to the Music of the Night. In my opinion, its THE SONG Phantom absolutely must nail. If it flops, the entire show is over for me =p ( I used to say when i was young (and stupid) that I'd marry the guy who could sing that song for me. Nicely, of course hahah) Anyway, 3 thumbs-up! He has such precise control over his voice. A perfect-pitch instrument played so well by the man himself =)

-Tear-worthy scenes-
When Phantom changed from his nasty, snarling voice to this gentle, loving one "Very well child you shall know me, See why in shadows i hide" I felt tears in my eyes... haha! Its not romantic or sad right?! But the sheer beauty of his voice and intensity of emotion were SO heart-wrenching (to me at least =p).

"Say you'll share with me each night each morning" Phantom was propped high up on this thing ( I really dunno what it is...) peeping at the young lovers... My heart literally broke with his haha
For the very last scene, Christine returned just to return the locket he sang "All i ask of you" in such a beseeching, pleading voice... and his "Christine, I love you..."
Then his anguished voice choking "I love you" ... Gosh, just the thought of it makes me wanna cry *bawl*


-DISAPPOINTING MOMENTS-

-Den/Hideout/Whatever-
No tears induced upon hearing Phanton's ashamed, painful cries when his mask was removed (Clearly remembered that 10 years ago, that scene did create dents on my heart haha... Maybe because I nearly cried previously during that non-relevant scene made me expect more here)

-Prima Donna-
A bit messy... feel as if the cast has some problems putting it together. Carlotta's voice was so soft that i thought there was something wrong with her mic... (and i blame Raoul! His crystal clear voice abit too stark) Sigh. I really liked this song, hence less than delighted to feel no sparks or excitement...

-All I asked of you-
A little lack-lustre in the romance department. Do you really love her Raoul?!

-Not-so-special effects-
I THINK the Phantom said "Watch the chandelier" Huh? (You know the scene when the chandelier is supposed to drop and crash because the cast defied Phantom's orders?) By the time i processed what the Phantom said...looked up, watched the chandelier shiver and blink... that's it
(Of course it is far to costly to REALLY crash that huge thing... still, that scene was VERY pathetic)

The fire/wham and bam... just kinda odd. Phantom was shooting fireballs (or whatever they are) at Raoul during the grave scene. Erm... they just went "Phiew... and boooom", and did not inflict even a blister on Raoul. So I have no idea what they are for... Diminished Phantom's cool mysterious factor. Why is the dark, dangerous neverending-legs master shooting fireworks at his rival in love?!! Golly.

-FINAL WORDS-
Anyway...
Really did enjoy the performance, especially the Phantom's voice which grew on me as the show proceeds... The sets and costumes also made the 147 bucks worthwhile.

Millionär

Hey hey! Suddenly thought of searching for Die Prinzen on YouTube. I remembered that my coursemates and I used to like this song very much. But its so darn difficult to find their music on the internet!
(btw, this time, "Shortly"= a few seconds. That should be the way! Good job. Haha!)

Although i can't say that I understand much now (Ich kann jetzt Detsch nicht verstanden. =/), am somehow drawn to their songs and MTVs.
Feel that Germans have a peculiar (or should i say different =p) sense of humor as deduced from their textbooks haha!
Guess we can tell quite alot about a nation from their textbooks? (Remember Miss Lala and ZiZi (or ZeeZee?!) the Zebra from OUR Primary School texts?! We're like quite LC ya?- its like baby talk: Want to mum-mum? Poo-poo? orh-orh? ERM... haha!)

Digress abit- heard that in mainstream schools, teachers have to set questions with representation from all ethnic groups. (!!?!) That's to say that if you set a Math paper, you can't have Xiaohua, Daming, Meimei or Xiaoqiang for all questions. You also need to have Peter, Jane, Linda or John. And make sure you don't miss out Siti, Ahmad, Nurul or Ali. Oh yes, and good old Muthu, Priyya, Bala or Anjali...
My lecturer for film modules in varsity made a point which I thought was so spot-on:
The movie ratings (PG, NC(16), M18, R21) actually helped those underaged/teenagers to find films with lurid stuff/nudity/violence more easily. Afterall there are so many films, how would they know which are the ones they can leer at?! But these ratings which are supposed to deter them from watching are so helpful! Such Irony.
And this little red dot loves to engage in it. *Shrug*


ANywayz! My initial intention ...

Lyrics:

Ich wär' so gerne Millionär
dann wär mein Konto niemals leer.
Ich wär' so gerne Millionär - millionenschwer.
Ich wär' so gerne Millionär
Geld. Geld. Geld...
Ich hab' kein Geld, hab' keine Ahnung
doch ich hab' 'n grosses Maul!
Bin weder Doktor noch Professor,
aber ich bin stinkend faul!
Ich habe keine reiche Freundin
und keinen reichen Freund
von viel Kohle
hab' ich bisher leider nur geträumt.
Was soll ich tun? Was soll ich machen?
Bin vor Kummer schon halb krank,
hab' mir schon ein paar Mal überlegt,
vielleicht knackst du eine Bank.
Doch das ist leider sehr gefährlich
bestimmt werd' ich gefasst,
und ausserdem bin ich doch ehrlich
und will nicht in den Knast!
Ich wär' so gerne Millionär
dann wär mein Konto niemals leer.
Ich wär' so gerne Millionär - millionenschwer.
Ich wär' so gerne Millionär
Knete. Knete. Knete....
Es gibt so viele reiche Witwen,
die begehr'n mich sehr;
Sie sind so scharf auf meinen Körper
doch den geb' ich nich' her.
Ich glaub', das würd' ich nicht verkraften,
um keinen Preis der Welt,
deswegen werd' ich lieber Popstar
und schwimm' in meinem Geld!
Geld.Geld.Geld...
Ich wär' so gerne Millionär
dann wär mein Konto niemals leer.
Ich wär' so gerne Millionär - millionenschwer.
Ich wär' so gerne Millionär.
ahhh...
Ich wär' so gerne Millionär
dann wär mein Konto niemals leer.
Ich wär' so gerne Millionär - millionenschwer.
Ich wär' so gerne Millionär.
Ich wär' so gerne Millionär
dann wär mein Konto niemals leer.
Ich wär' so gerne Millionär - millionenschwer.
Ich wär' so gerne Millionär.
Millionär

Die Prinzen - Millionär

WHy didn't I think of YouTube sooner?! So happy to find their songs again!
I Like DIE PRINZEN!

When it matters

Write, I do
On this space, words scatter

Spout, i will
Upon this page, crap splatter

Dwell, I may
Along perimeters, thoughts wander

Regret, I have
Within. Words falter.

In prose, the brain one heard its piece-
The moans, the muses, the whines, the whims
In rhyme, the heart one allowed a peep
The hidden, the hollow, the hushed, the mush.

Shortly?

"Shortly", have been shown to me= 5 days

Videos from YouTube finally up.. hoho

Video diarrhoea!

Haven't been writing much as there's something wrong with the server it seems... My post page is irritating... anywayz...

蘇打綠 小情歌

Enjoy

My Lovely Samsoon MV

My lovely Boss!

Tank 非你莫屬

I Like Tank =D

New Career Option

Hey.
My sis said that i have flair in persuading people to part with their money...
Agree???
I didn't think i had this 'talent'. Do you feel that i can persuade u to buy sthing? haha

Maybe i should be a personal shopper? Or boutiques can hire me. I can be strategically placed at appropriate places to persuade people how nice they look in this or not. Guess i can be absolutely earnest and sincere.
I look quite honest right. And poker face. I don't lie. If i tell you its worth it, you believe its worth it right?
Its an excellent career move. Please introduce some ingenious shop owners. Thank you.

DRAFTS

I still have plenty of drafts.
What should I do with them?
Edit, Complete and publish?
Or should i just delete them?
Afterall, when certain thoughts are left alone for too long, dust has settled, impulse passed, angst gone. Whatever strong emotions you've felt at that moment have faded...
So... what do you think? To chuck or not to chuck, that is the question. Haha!
But just like some things you've bought but never used, its a pity to just dump them. Cos you never know when you'll need them?
Or sometimes its better to just chuck those stuff and get new ones again when you REALLY need them?
Its a waste of money and resources.. But if you don't dump those useless stuff, it'll just pile higher and higher and you end up with more rubbish...

Its kinda dumb really.
Why dwell over silly things like drafts?
Don't i have better things to think about? haha

Actually i do... work!!! I should think of work more often... urgh...

Talking about work... i'm reading this pretty bimbotic book right now- its about a fresh graduate entering the "real world" after uni. She is working temporarily until she finds a husband. And all she ever wanted is to be a tai-tai and she doesn't understand why women would want careers. She unbashfully admits that she is lazy and hates working. Its pretty irritating how silly she gets just to meet men and how she keeps moping over her ex... But i must say that the tai-tai part definitely strike a chord.

"Employment is only for the poor. Rich girls do not need to work, therefore they do not want to work. Working is an unfortunate consequence of one's station in life. It is neither attractive or fun"

"Jane Austen times would have best suited me...spent my days playing the piano, sewing, reading or walking. I would wait for dashing men to court me..." (sounds pretty good huh)

Meanwhile, her friends were incensed that she is so backward when women had burnt bras and chained themselves (whatever feminist movements there had been) to attain where they are today.

(Finished the book. Actually its not that bimbotic. Its just pretending to be =p)
Its really sickening sometimes that so many aspects of life have to be grey. Can't it be just BLACK & WHITE? More interesting? But more complicated and mind-boggling too...

Perhaps my destiny in life is to think of mundane stuff. Yay!
Could someone pay me to write rubbish please?

Hypothetical situation... If i really am a professional writer or columnist or a writer of rubbish... will i digress from my 'work' and start doing all those irrelevant things and indulge in irrelevant thoughts?
Maybe its just me and my laziness and adversity to work.
GOD. If I haven't sinned enough for gluttony... i'll definitely be burning in hell for sloth. And wrath.. and... can't remember the other deadly sins (Envy? That i'm safe at least haha)
I'm such a Sinner...

I hate to be so LAZY. But i can't stop it.
Any Lazyticide for sale? I'm desperate for it...

P/S: Searched for 7 deadly sins and they are :
Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.
Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.
Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.
Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.
Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.
Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.
Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.

Okie... my sins are definitely more secular ...